Sunday, 7 February 2016

Disappointments of 2015 and Why

9 Doctor Who: Deep Blue by Mark Morris
Though it has it's moments, this is just a mediocre prototype for Mark Morris' best book, Ghosts of India. Also, the cover art isn't very good.

 8 The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King
Though the writing style was good and this book was kind of interesting, it was rather slow and confusing. It was almost like a dark chocolate dessert that was just too rich to finish.

7 Kernowland: The Crystal Pool by Jack Trelawny
Weird and wonderful, just without so much of the wonderful. Though written with good intentions and it's clear the author had a personal connection with what he was doing, it just seems like a pretty weak children's book.

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6 Humbug by Nina Bawden
I'm shocked the author of a book as lovely as Carrie's War could write something this hateful. It has it's moments, but it's about two girls hating each other, just plain unpleasant.

5 C.H.A.O.S: Invasion by Jon S. Lewis
Alex Rider meets the Men in Black? This should have been epic! You can tell the author was going for a fun read, but it's dull, cheesy and populated with stereotypical cut-outs.

4 Brotherband: The Outcasts by John Flanagan
The writing style was fairly good, but for a book with such a vague plot and cliched characters, it's pretty LONG! Also, we've already got a great book series about a weedy Viking boy inventor. It's called How To Train Your Dragon.

 3 Doctor Who: Legacy by Gary Russell

Gary Russell is an AMAZING writer. This however, is one of his earlier books and it shows. The characters aren't just boring, they're horrible, the plot drags, the villains are forgettable, the violence is predictable, and yet, this book had so much potential!

2 The Finders by Nigel Hinton
Ever seen that sketch on Goodness Gracious Me, where the Indian family is eating in an English restaurant, saying the food is "TOO BLAND!"? Pretty much describes this book. Even the title sounds like something Mary Norton rejected for the Borrowers.

1 The Tiger's Secret by Gordon Volke
I had issues with all these books, whether I found them boring, or cheesy, or just didn't live up to my expectations. However, only this book constantly hit me over the head with how bad it was. What a terrible hero! She was just completely flawless! The plot is ridiculously padded, the premise is convoluted and alienating, the jokes all failed and the dialogue was either stupidly pretentious or just plain stupid. People find insta-love cringe-worthy and awkward, but in this book, we get a sort of insta-friendship and that's just as bad.
The environmental message was so preachy and so in-your-face, yet the author made so little effort to show the reader nature, to show them what was worth saving!
I found it insulting to environmentalists, insulting to children's intelligence, and it wasn't just me. I showed this to my friends at book club, we shared it round, I gave them an outline of the plot, we had a dramatic reading, and everyone could believe that this was the worst book I've read, not just last year, but in my entire life. And I've read Fart Club!

But if you're one of those people who enjoyed it, or any other book on this list, I'm glad you did.


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